Who got what!
by meika-ichiban
Summary: Because the words “Sanada”, “Pregnant” and “Abortion” are too controversial, especially if all three are used within the same sentence. Remember not to let the words fool you. MaruixOC; SanadaxOC.


**Disclaimer: **Search my house and I believe you won't see any Prince of Tennis. Well, except for their merchandises XD.

**Summary:** Because the words "Sanada", "Pregnant" and "Abortion" are too controversial, especially if all three are used within the same sentence. Remember not to let the words fool you. MaruixOC; SanadaxOC.

**Warnings:** Possible OOCness. Crap. Grammar. Spelling. Punctuations. Blah. Forgive me? :3

**Author's Beginning Notes:** Dedicated to one of my friends, Kuri-chan [orechibisama] ^__^ I had fun writing this one-shot XD I hope this will get substantial reviews? XD Flames will be laughed at, constructive critcisms will bring love, and supportive type of reviews will bring eternal gratitude :D

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Who got what?!

Prince of Tennis: Sanada Genichirou and Marui Bunta

One-shot

**I.**

"Why won't you eat these?!" a certain Yukimura Meika complained as she waved a bag of homemade cookies in front of her sweet-toothed sempai, Marui Bunta. It was dismissal time at Rikkaidai Fuzoku, and Marui was about to get inside the club room to change into his tennis uniform when Yukimura's younger sister suddenly ran up to him and offered him a bag of cookies.

It was very peculiar, the tensai thought, because this is Yukimura Meika: his number one enemy. He knows how well the girl hates him and his tensai-ish guts, and the fact that Meika just offered him food (and they are cookies, even. Marui clearly remembers that Meika has no absolute talent when it comes to cooking) bothered the heck out of him. It's like saying Dracula is inviting you over at his house for a neck massage.

"No way," Marui coolly stated, with voice swollen with pride. "They most probably had poison for a main ingredient."

"Not really," Meika sadly and miserably informed. "Although I wish it was. Seiichi-niichan didn't allow me. He says it's bad. Geez, what a shame," she grumbled with a pout.

Marui sweat-dropped. "You're a very sweet girl, Meika." He rolled his mauve eyes while blowing a green bubble out of his bubblegum.

"I know right!" she enthusiastically replied with a sadistic grin. "I'm actually the sweetest thing this earth has ever vomited." [1]

"Yes you are," the tensai agreed. He opened the door of the club room and before going inside, he continued, "And I don't want to eat your cookies. End of story."

"Hmph. Fine," she crossed her arms and frowned. Meika can't believe Marui just rejected her cookies. The words "nice" and "generosity" were erased from her vocabulary for as long as she could remember, and now that she decides to bring them back, they get trashed that easily. This annoyed her. "I will never give you cookies—or any food—ever again!" Meika childishly yelled while making a face. "And don't come crawling to me once you get hungry, or once I become a famous chef!!" she kicked the door of the club room to signify how annoyed she is.

"As if, Meika. I'd rather starve to death than beg to you," Marui answered from inside the room. Some muffling noises were made from the room, and a few moments later, Marui's face peeped out from the window to face the girl. "And why are you bothering me anyway? Shouldn't you be with Kuri-chan?" The door opened and Marui came out, already in his tennis uniform and carrying his orange tennis racket.

"I wish," she mustered while rolling her eyes. "Kuri-chan has been ditching me a lot lately for Sanada."

"Eh?" he blinked. "Kuri-chan did?"

"Yeah. Like three nights ago, we were supposed to do our homework together but Kuri-chan called me up on the last minute and said she can't come because she needs to go to Sanada's house." A huge pout crossed her face. "Okay, fine. Not really "ditched" because she still hangs out with me most of the time, but look at right now. She said she has an important matter to settle with fukubuchou-sama. It's just irritating because I get lonely."

"Well you can wait for them," the tensai suggested, blowing another bubble. "Afternoon practice won't start unless Sanada-fukubuchou comes, so I guess I can help you wait for them."

Meika opened her mouth to answer, but she eventually closed them. She narrowed her eyes and stared at Marui.

"What?" he asked when he noticed Meika's unusual gaze.

"You're gonna help me wait for them? Did I hear it right?" the girl retorted. "Why are you so nice all of a sudden? Are you sick?"

Marui's eye twitched. "You really ARE the sweetest thing this earth has vomited."

Meika sweetly grinned. "I know. Isn't it grand, Fat Ass-sempai~?"

"Shut up."

"Right back at you."

**II.**

"What makes you so sure they'll be here?" Marui asked as they entered the Discipline Committee Room.

"We already checked the kendo rooms and they weren't there, right?" Meika asked back. "So this is the only place left to look at. Besides, these two are the only possible habitats for Geni-fukubuchou anyway. So that will limit our search."

"Habitats? What's with the term? Sanada-fukubuchou is not an animal."

"Oh, sorry." She stick out her tongue in a playful and ashamed manner. "The dissection awhile ago must have gotten into me."

"Dissection?"

"Yeah. We had a laboratory experiment awhile ago during Science Class. We dissected a puppy. The puppy was wailing and crying and there was a lot of blood and organs coming out." Meika's eyes sparkled. "It was fun. I hope a day will come that I can also dissect a human being." [2]

The tensai shivered when he heard the last, sadistic statement that came from the girl. "Oi Meika. Where do you even get that kind of mentality?"

"Saa~ who knows?" she answered with a very sweet smile, which made the tensai shiver more.

Just then, footsteps were heard from outside. The tensai and the sadist turned their heads to one another, and out of instinct, they hastily grabbed each other's hand and hid behind a huge cabinet near the door. After all, they were not supposed to be inside the Discipline Committee Room because they're not a part of the Public Morals Committee to begin with. What troublemakers. Marui and Meika crept silently as they waited for the footsteps. They were approaching the room, and when the door opened, the two people they were searching for finally appeared.

"Kuri-chan!" Meika almost went out of her hiding spot; good thing Marui was able to push her back.

"Oi Meika! Are you nuts?!"

"But look at Kuri-chan!" Meika reasoned out of anxiety. She pointed at a girl with dirty blonde hair whose eyes were swollen. There were tears on the corner of her eyes, and her entire face was red. It was probably due to crying.

"Mou~ what happened to Kuri-chan?"

"Baka! That's what I want to find out!" Meika snapped. "And that stupid fukubuchou is not even saying anything!" Meika's round, crimson eyes glared at Sanada, whom at that time, was still stoic and emotionless despite the sight he's seeing. Meika gritted her teeth. "I bet that good for nothing fukubuchou made Kuri-chan cry!"

"Oi! Don't say that to Sanada-fukubuchou!"

"Urusai! I can say whatever the hell I want to say!"

Marui heaved a heavy and irritated sigh. Meika just becomes a giant shrew whenever anger overwhelms her.

"Well calm down first. You can't assume yet that Sanada-fukubuchou did this to Kuri-chan. We have to wait and listen," Marui said.

A small sigh escaped from Meika's lips. "Fine."

There was silence inside the room. Marui and Meika kept their gazes directly at Kuri and Sanada, while the other two were both silent. Neither of them was saying anything until…

"How could you let this happen?!" Kuri nagged as tears streamed down from her eyes. "You could have done something!"

Sanada sighed. "Kuri, look. This is just an awfully simple operation."

"Operation?" Marui and Meika whispered to each other.

"It is not as simple as it seems, Sanada. And you know it," Kuri answered as she tried to wipe off her tears with her handkerchief. "We're talking about killing here."

"Kuri, you don't have to do it if you don't want to. But what I know is that it's really simple. It's like… it's just to let the air in."

"I don't want to do it. I don't want to be a murderer, Sanada. What you're asking me to kill is too precious."

"I understand."

"I'm so sorry, Sanada. You know I am."

Sanada didn't answer for a few moments. He finally gave another sigh. "Let's talk about this tomorrow, Kuri. I need to get back to the team."

"But—"

"Kuri, please. TOMORROW."

The girl didn't say anything afterwards. She was still on the verge of crying as she lowered her head. She followed Sanada on the way out, and when they were both gone, the entire room was engulfed by a dead silence.

Marui and Meika were still behind the large cabinet, but neither of them was able to utter anything. They just stood there, gaping at each other. After awhile, Marui swallowed.

"…Meika…"

"…Yeah?"

"…Where did you say Kuri-chan was at three nights ago?"

"……At Geni-fukubuchou's."

"…Oh…"

"…Yeah…"

Silence.

"…So I guess that explains this conversation…?"

"…I don't know…maybe?"

"…"

**III.**

Marui and Meika were still gaping by the time they exited the Discipline Committee Room. They had no idea how to digest the realization they just recently realized. It was so…so heavy and shocking and heavy and shocking and heavy and shocking.

The two of them headed to the tennis courts at the back of the school building, and tennis afternoon practice has already started way before they came. Everyone was already there, too.

"Marui, you're late," Sanada said when he caught sight of the newcomer. He then shifted his soulless eyes down at Meika, who entered with Marui. "And I hope you're not here to stir up any trouble," he said to Yukimura's sister.

Marui and Meika didn't answer. They gave him a blank stare.

"Meika-chan, are you alright?" Yukimura asked, approaching the three of them together with Jackal. Again, even the buchou was ignored by his own sister.

"Marui, let's get to practice." Jackal gave him a soft nudge, but Marui didn't budge.

"Niou-sempai what the hell happened to them?" Akaya asked while staring at the two.

"Puri~ like I'd know. It's probably the after effects of spending quality time with each other. Those two are just not compatible."

"I agree," Yanagi said, joining into the conversation. "Ironically, it makes a perfect imbalance."

"Cht. They look so retarded."

"Akaya, watch out with your words," Yagyuu warned.

"Hai-hai. Sumimasen ne Yagyuu-sempai."

"Tarundoru! Enough of this foolishness!" Sanada boomed. "Marui run 90 laps for being late!! Meika get out of here!! Kuri is waiting for you at the main gate!"

Marui and Meika twitched at the same time when they heard the name "Kuri".

"How can you be so cruel, Sanada-fukubuchou?" Marui asked, his eyes filled with disbelief.

"What?"

"Don't play dumb!" Meika angrily shouted. "Fat Ass and I heard every single word!"

"What??"

"We know everything that happened!! We heard your conversation with Kuri-chan back at Discipline Committee Room! You got Kuri-chan pregnant and you want her to have an abortion!!"

Dead Silence.

Yukimura's angelic smile instantly vanished; Yanagi opened his eyes; Yagyuu fainted while standing; Niou's and Akaya's jaws dropped; Jackal lost grip of his racket. Everyone was stunned.

"Sanada-fukubuchou…" Akaya began.

"…Got Kuri-san…" Yukimura continued.

"…Pregnant?" Niou finished.

Dead Silence.

"And he wants her to have an abortion?" Jackal confirmed.

Dead Silence.

"Oh my…to think that he's the Public MORALS Committee Chairman…" Yagyuu, who just recently recovered from his sudden fainting-while-standing-up scene, added.

"Pregnancy, Abortion, Sanada…this is too complex to comprehend. There are too many variables," Yanagi stated. "This is possibly harder than Advanced Physics and Calculus combined."

Everyone stared at Sanada, waiting for him to answer. Sanada didn't say anything. He heaved an annoyed sigh. "Urayama!" he yelled, turning his attention at a petite freshman with red hair. [3]

"Ha-hai de yansu~?"

"Go and find Kuri. Bring her here. That's an order."

"Wakarimashita de yansu~!" Urayama instantly obeyed and ran out of the tennis courts to find his sempai.

Sanada eyed everyone. "Let's have the 'pregnant' woman explain everything."

**IV.**

"We're here, de yansu~!" Urayama proclaimed as he got back to the courts. Trailing behind him was Kuri.

"Urayama, what's going on?" Kuri asked.

"You're being accused of being pregnant, de yansu~," Urayama answered. "While Sanada-fukubuchou is being accused of wanting the baby be aborted, de yansu~."

"Eh?!"

"That's right, Kuri," Sanada said as he walked up towards the blonde. "Tell them exactly how I got you pregnant."

"Wait…huh?" Kuri asked, obviously confused with the commotion.

"Kuri-chan it's okay!!" Meika said, running up to her friend and giving her a comforting hug. "No matter what happens, I'll always support you!"

"Uh…thanks?"

"And don't listen to Sanada-fukubuchou!! The baby you carry shall live! I'll even help you take care of him…her…it…whatever! Marui and I can be the godparents!" Meika turned to the tensai and beamed. "Right, Marui-sempai?"

"…Maybe?" Marui answered, rubbing the back of his head. Actually, he didn't like the sound of it. He never had any patience for children. Like his younger brothers, for example. Aside from eating sweets, Marui solely exists in this world to make his younger brothers' life a living hell. Given this, having a child who even came from a different blood is definitely a no-no for the tensai. And besides, having a godchild would mean that he have to give up a portion of his savings (especially during Christmas and other gift-giving occasions), when he can just spend all of his allowance to buy cakes—all for himself. In Marui's case, it's better to receive than to give.

"Meika-chan…I really appreciate this and all…butwhatbabyareyoutalkingabout?" Kuri blinked at her friend.

Meika blinked back at her. "…The baby…in…your womb…?"

Silence.

"Ne Kuri-chan, you're pregnant, aren't you?"

"…No."

Silence.

"Oh…really?"

"Really."

Silence.

"Why on earth did you think I'm pregnant?" Kuri interrogated, rather amused than confused.

Meika and Marui exchanged glances.

"Meika and I heard your conversation with Sanada-fukubuchou back at the Discipline Committee Room, and we saw you crying and talking about some operation," Marui thoughtfully explained.

"So desu ne!" Meika agreed. "And you and Geni-fukubuchou were saying really weird things like, "I don't want to be a murderer" and "It's an awfully simple operation. It's just to let the air in"," she pouted.

Kuri didn't answer. She just stared and blinked at the two for a couple of moments, and then suddenly, soft chuckles that gradually become a loud laugh escaped from the blonde's lips.

"Ba~ka!" she laughed, clutching on to her stomach. "That wasn't anything about abortion or pregnancy!"

Marui and Meika exchanged nervous glances.

Sanada lowered his cap. And with a deep voice, he informed, "That was about the dissection."

"Dissection?" Marui and Meika both asked at the same time. "What dissection?"

"Remember, Meika-chan, that we had a puppy dissection awhile ago during Science Class?" Kuri asked.

Meika slowly nodded her head. "Hai…"

"I guess I got overdramatic." Kuri stuck out her tongue with a small blush. "I really love animals, most especially dogs, and I can't accept the fact that Rikkaidai's Science Department is allowing such a thing to be done to those poor puppies. It's just horrible. I consider it as a murder," she explained with a small frown. "That's why I decided to talk to the head coordinator of the Science Department about it, and it happened, coincidentally, that Sanada-kun was also there. But instead of helping me, he said that it's just normal to dissect a puppy." Kuri gave a small glare at the fukubuchou. "But the good thing is, I talked to sensei just now before Urayama dragged me to go here, and sensei said that they'll try to find an another alternative as an activity instead of the dissection! It made me happy!" Kuri gave a cheerful smile.

"Ohhh" was the only thing Marui and Meika could muster.

Sanada cleared his throat. "Now that all of this has been settled…," he shot everyone a tremendous glare. "GET BACK TO PRACTICE!!"

"HAI!" all the regulars answered, except for Yukimura who just gave a lighthearted chuckle.

"Marui, Meika! STAY!" Sanada strictly bellowed, giving them his deathliest glare. "I have a **special** practice for the two of you."

Marui and Meika could only gulp.

**V.**

"Meika-chan I'm really sorry about what happened," Kuri said, giving her friend a small tap on the back.

"It's okay. It's not your fault," Meika sighed.

"What did Sanada-kun say to you and Marui-kun?"

Meika frowned. "Cht. He just lectured us about eavesdropping, entering the Discipline Committee Room without proper permission, and causing chaos during practice," she muttered. "And now, Fat Ass and I have to do a one month of community service for a payback. Geez. That stupid fukubuchou is worse than my actual father."

"It's okay Meika-chan. Oh by the way, speaking of fathers…" Kuri Brown winked at her friend. "What will you do if I say I'm really pregnant?"

"WHAT?!"

Kuri chuckled. "I'm kidding!"

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**[1]** = "I'm actually the sweetest thing this world has vomited." = This line was stolen from my kouhai~! ^o^ She and I are sometimes like Marui and Meika in this story, and she said this line to me during one of our YM conversations XD.

**[2]** = I'm not even sure if dissecting a puppy has been done in some schools before o.o'' I love puppies, and I will be totally against dissecting them! On the meantime, we did had a dissection of frogs 4 years ago XD Our team got a bullfrog o.o;; And its pregnant D: I was teased by my classmates as the "Frog Princess" because the frog kept on staring at me throughout the entire time XDD;;

**[3]** = Urayama Shiita de yansu~~! ^__^ I'm not sure if Urayama's hair color is really red, but most fanarts made him a redhead, so I just went with it XD. Somehow, Urayama reminds me of little, dorky Marui. XD

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Author's Notes:** Kuri-chan [orechibisama], I hope you liked this one-shot~! ^__^ I hope I didn't make the characters OOC, and if ever I did, please say so ^^ I hope this one-shot will cheer you up~! :D


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